An Open Letter

Dear Obnoxious Offspring,

How many times must I tell you to be quiet while we are in a waiting room? Is it really necessary to loudly dump all the blocks out on the floor? Even when I told you to listen and be good before we even walked in! Must you really keep talking loudly when I am ssshhhh-ing you for over one minute? Do you really need to talk so loudly to each other and run around like wild lions? I don't care if we are friends with the doctor and you know him personally. That does not make it okay. What don't you understand?

I know I have not raised monkeys. I know you have manners because I pound them into your super-absorbent mind. What happens? Do they go into one ear and out the other? You behave great at school but I think sometimes you two have a quiet contest between yourselves about who can make mom more irate. Seriously.

Your mother needs a wife who will do everything so I can enjoy the evenings. I need a mom that successfully teaches you how to behave like little girls. I need one day of silence. I need you to be perfect angels for one entire day. Anything from just getting up in the morning, to putting your shoes away without complaing to going to bed when told to do so. I would greatly appreciate it. I just need a glimpse of hope that it is possible. I need a husband who does not love sports so dang much and wants nothing more than to be home with his constantly-on-the-edge wife. Why doesn't he?! Hmmmmm.

Don't think next time we go to that office you won't be apologizing. No missy. You will say your sorry to the nice girls at the desk and LIKE IT! If not, your mom could become a bitter ole' lady. And I know neither of you don't want that.

I really do love you. And I want people to see what great little girls you are. So, for Christmas, mommy wants you to just listen. Really.

I got nothin' but love for ya,
Your Basket-Case of a Mom

Fine Print:
(I really do love my girls. Please don't criticize this letter and call me a bad mom for writing this. If you have lived this week in my shoes, you would be proud I am writing instead taking it out on anyone. And girls,I know when you become a mom you will understand these feelings all too well. Why? Because I remember my mom saying things similar to this to me and I never really understood. I still love you and your dad more than you can ever begin to fathom. )