"" Three Ladies and a Dad: My thoughts lately....

Thursday, January 24, 2008

My thoughts lately....

I can't help but wonder what is wrong with me sometimes. My children are healthy- and gorgeous I might add- I have a wonderful husband, and my home life is terrific. I have great parent's and my sisters are pretty great too. But for some reason, I feel discontent, like something is missing, or perhaps "off". I cannot put my finger on it, and have no idea where the feeling is originating from. I do know that my mind feels jumbled and I cannot focus on where I need to begin to be able to sort it out. I feel almost lost in this world, like I am losing my purpose. Is it possible to feel bored and overwhelmed at the same time? Right now, I think it is.

I am involved in a couple of ministries at church, which take up anywhere from 4-6 hours per week, depending on which week it is. I work full time and am currently taking 7 hours at school. At times all of this can feel overwhelming, but I work on homework anytime I feel up to it, not just when it is due. I am really staying on top of these things. So I know it is not this.

I feel like I am trying to be a super-mom. Like someone told me a few days ago, we all try to be. If I were trying to be anything less, I would disappoint myself. My thoughts on this is there is so much more to life than our 'everyday'. The only way I, or we, can discover it is to experience it.

But why do I feel like I am half empty right now?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey after reading your blog I got to thinking, I think it is normal for us to feel like this at times..if we didnt we would not be human. God gave us the gift to experience multiple emotions to help us get through life and keep up on our toes at the same time, makes it not so boring if you will. If you feel like everything in your life is as good as it can be for now and you are happy, it could be a form of anxiety from everything you have going on in your life but at the same time you dont think that because the things that are going on in your life are the things you want and strive for. Life is a very confusing yet amazing thing all in one and that is why alot of ppl have a hard time dealing with life and end up on medications or goign crazy, its hard. Maybe sometimes you do overdo things but that is who you are, or at least you have been that way the entire time I have known you. Bet yet we all strive to be 'super mom' but while doing so you have to be able to understand that you cant be that way all the time, we are only human. And yes it is possible to feel bored adn overwhelmed at the same time, to me anyways, because you get bored due to the fact that everything is so routine these days and that is partly because we make it that way to keep us on track but yet you get overwhelmed because life throws you curve balls that you werent necessarily planning on doing or werent planning on doing at that time or in that way. For instance I know you are in school and that is what you want to do, BUT at the same time I know this is not really the time that you chose to do it but life didnt allow you to do it when you wanted to maybe inside you 'indirectly' feel a little overwhelmed or something along those lines, (icould be off, just my opinion) Plus nobody plans for everything in their life to happen at one time sometimes but it does and then others it doesnt. All you can do is take one day at a time and thank God that he has given you one more day to spend on thid Earth with your friends, family and all the ppl that love and care about you. You are great person in more ways than one and I am sure there are ppl that envy you for the way you handle yourself but to me what you are feeling is normal or should I say natural. I know I have said this a few times in this but WE ARE HUMAN, it is our nature to feel things that are not always what we expect!
And this is April by the way but still cant remember my password!!! LOL